In response to an increasing need for spaces where students can vent about various issues, this semester the NYU Abu Dhabi administration has decided to open a new office: the Campus Life Complaint Committee.

“We’ve noticed that a lot of students feel the need for spaces where they can just express the many problems they have,” explained one of the resident complaint therapists, Bertha Tailus. “We’re not here to actually solve any of their issues, but just to allow them to let off some steam.”

As part of its program, CaLiCoCo offers a 24/7 hotline where students can vent about their issues, an anonymous Google form for those who are anxious about being associated with their complaints, as well as a de-stressing room equipped with complaint therapists and punching bags where anybody is welcome to complain while practicing their boxing skills. At peak hours, when not all complaint therapists are available, whiteboards with the title “Things Somebody Should Do Something About” are wheeled out to meet student needs.

We spent some time inside the de-stressing room during one of Tailus’ walk-in sessions, noting down students’ complaints.

“I’m just a shoulder to cry on,” explained Tailus. “Being a student here can be extremely stressful, and we just want to make sure students feel like all of their complaints are validated.”

The first person to enter the room was bawling her eyes out while carrying a pizza box. Names have been omitted in order to protect the students’ anonymity.

“Food is still too hot when delivered from the dining hall!” shouted student number one, flinging the box to the ground. “If I wanted hot food, I would just go to the dining hall and get it myself. When I order food, I expect that it will cool off during the time it takes to get to my room.”

“And speaking of dining halls,” added student number two, who had just joined the session. “Why doesn’t the Starbucks counter in the Dining Hall serve frappuccinos? I have to go all the way up to the library when I want one, and I don’t even use the library to study, so why in the world would I go to the third floor?”

As Tailus nodded sympathetically along to their complaints, student number three entered the room and began swinging at one of the punching bags.

“Almost none of the classes have class trips now,” they stated in between blows. “What’s the point of taking classes anymore if they don’t include at least a weekend in Oman or Nepal?”

A fourth student had entered the room, seemingly on the verge of tears.

“None of the plugs on the tables in classrooms work,” number four lamented. “How am I supposed to browse through dank memes on Facebook while I’m in class if I can’t even charge my laptop?”

“We also need to talk about taxis,” added a fifth student. “Why do they always try to drop us off in the center of the campus? What about students who live in A2 or in A6? That’s just so much excessive walking to get back to your dorm.”

Over the next hour, ten more students entered the de-stressing room, with complaints ranging from not being able to find their favorite toothpaste brand in the Convenience Store to not being able to have Rick and Morty marathons in their rooms because of the unstable internet connection.

During the last 10 minutes of the walk-in session, a student attempted to start a discussion based off of the recent changes in Public Safety policies. Although this student had previously complained about what he considered to be an unnecessary number of mandatory trainings and meetings with administration, he was now vouching for additional trainings to educate the student body about certain activities. However, at this point Tailus was so preoccupied with trying to solve the pizza temperature issue in her mind that all she could offer were blank stares. Staring up at the clock, she then announced that the walk-in session had come to an end. Some students noticeably felt more relieved while others decided to continue the discussion online. Number 15 decided to write an article for The Gazelle about the increasing alienation between administration and the student body.

If any readers have complaints that they would like to express in a similar manner, we encourage them to reach out to CaLiCoCo. An alternative would be to reach out to Student Government, but we acknowledge that that’s just not how things work here at NYUAD.