Graphic by Joaquin Kunkel / The Gazelle

The paratha is greasy and the chips are still crunchy. I love it when the chips are still crunchy. Sometimes when people bring a Chips Oman sandwich in from the port, the chips have soaked up all the grease from the paratha and they are soggy. But not tonight. Tonight they’re still fresh. Oh, and that cheese oozing out from between the chips and paratha. I’m sticking my tongue out licking up that warm cheese, its consistency a little looser than when it first left the two-kilo glass jar. Were they using Puck this time? I should be paying attention to this kind of detail.

Watching the guy make the roll, I had to point and ask him to slather on a little more. They never put enough cheese on it. I hate that. But if they put too much, it gets a little gross because processed cheese is actually not that good. I really want it to be good, like a Kraft single, but it just isn’t. And that just softens the blow of those chips. A couple of bites in, I realize that they actually put some of that off-brand hot sauce in there. I actually don’t like Tabasco sauce anymore. Compared to the sauce we have in the Dining Hall — the one with the bald eagle on the bottle — Tabasco sauce just sucks.

Everyone keeps telling me I should just honk my horn, order from the car and wait. But I love watching these guys put together hot Chips Oman sandwiches. That distinctive popping sound, followed quickly by the crinkling of the bag and the crushing of the chips inside, makes my mouth water. So close to Chips Oman in my belly.

Should I call it a Chips Oman sandwich, or just Chips Oman? In Oman they have the chips but not the sandwich. The chips aren’t really that good, but the sandwich could not possibly be made without them. Substituting them with Lays Chili would be unacceptable. I don’t say this out of brand loyalty or anything; Chips Oman just tastes different from other brands.

There is one place in the port where they make parathas by hand. It’s more labor-intensive than you might think. The guy has to roll out the dough and then layer it on top of itself like an accordion, forming a long strip of oily dough. Then he compresses the strip and starts to roll it up like a cinnamon roll. When the roll is just the right size, he pinches off the strip of stretchy dough and smooshes it down, rolling it out into its final form. I’m not very good with the metric system, but I’d say they’re about 28 cm in diameter. There is one guy who is always cooking these newly-formed discs. He picks them up with his hand. I wonder if he still feels anything in his fingertips after so much time doing this.

Someone else prepares food. He pops that bag, slathers that cheese, crushes those chips and makes some magic. Chips Oman really is magic, the pinnacle of Abu Dhabi street food. I thought I knew street food in this country, from chaat counters to shawarma to samosas and karak. But you really don’t know Abu Dhabi street food until you encounter Chips Oman. Chips Oman is portable and delicious, a little more filling than a samosa but not quite as much as a shawarma — Foodlands sucks. Let’s be real, people. This legacy from Sama Tower is getting out of hand. There are so many better places to get shawarma. Any place that serves dosa and shawarma is not to be trusted.

Plus, Chips Oman sandwiches are vegetarian. I was a vegetarian once, but my resolve crumbled when I discovered Filipino food. I couldn’t do it anymore. Even though I don’t think God is real, I say a prayer every time I bite into a moist piece of marinated chicken thigh. I’m sure that the chicken was treated terribly, and I recognize that I’m destroying my soul with every bite. But that’s not the case with Chips Oman.

Chips Oman is a late night delight, but not delite, because I’m sure those parathas are stuffed with calories. I always find myself eating not one, but two, or three, or four of them in one sitting. My gluttony is shameful and my friends stare at me in disgust but I just keep asking the guy to come back and bring some more. Every bite is like the first time.