Illustration by Leehyun Choi

I’ve never been sick without having my mother or any other guardian by my side. So when I fell ill at university, I didn’t know what to do. What medications did I need to take? Were the reactions that I was having normal? In a drugged, ill and worried state, I didn’t know what was happening and what to do without my mother’s affectionate and experienced care.

Although we have resources such as the Health and Wellness Center, we don’t always utilize those fully. We often try to decide for ourselves what medications to take, when to take them or what is happening to our bodies. Is it just that I’m feeling a little bad or am I really unwell? It is sometimes difficult to make these decisions, especially when there is no experienced adult around. It isn’t easy to determine whether the solution is a simple multivitamin, or a heavy-duty painkiller, or going to the emergency room.

Knowing what to do and when to do it is one of the most difficult adjustments one must make when living alone. Without the care of a mother, diagnosing and discovering the source of your discomfort can be difficult.

When living at university, you are also living with other people. Your roommate continues to live a normal life and goes in and out of your room like nothing has changed, even though you are struggling to stay awake and all you want to do is nap or watch Netflix in bed. The comfort of your own home and having your own space is gone, which hinders the recovery process when you are sick. Being sick at university is made even more difficult by the fact that you have to go to the dining hall to get food and then to the Convenience Store to stock up on tissues, all the while feeling terrible and not wanting to see anybody. Yet, you still have to get out of bed to do everything your mother would normally have done for you.

In comparison to high school, where teachers were more lenient, our responsibilities don’t go away at university. We still have essays to write, meetings to attend and classes to tackle. A letter from Health and Wellness may get you out of class, but that doesn’t necessarily mean your professor understands that your work cannot be finished. This situation adds to the stress since you can't completely relax and get better as you need finish all your assignments.

One of the biggest differences between being sick at home and being sick at university is that the care and love that your mother gives you at home is simply not present at college. When you are sick at university, you are stuck with yourself and are unable to receive much care or love. Your mother would always worry about you and would do anything that could make you feel better. Here, we only have ourselves to depend on, which can be difficult at times.

The love and care that a mother gives a child cannot be compared to anything else.

On the other hand, while not having your mother to help you can be hard, it is a part of growing up. We can’t always rely on our mother’s care, even though that would be lovely. We have to learn how to become an adult. Nonetheless, thank you, mother, for all your care when I was sick. Coming to university has made me appreciate it all the more.