Graphic by Carlos Alberto Escobar

The line “I first need to love myself, before I can love others,” is common in many romantic comedies. I watched many of these movies as a little girl, thinking that they depicted real versions of relationships and love.

I always wondered why one would wouldn’t be in love with oneself in the first place. Though this seemed to be a mind-boggling concept that I just ignored as a kid, as the years passed and I grew older, it became more and more important to truly love oneself.

Self-love is something that people often undervalue or forget to take care of. We run from class to class, meeting to meeting and often forget to take a break to appreciate ourselves and our ability to do the things we do. At the end of the day, this is what really makes our day worthwhile. We run around all day and when things calm down and we have a moment to ourselves, we can really say that we are happy with ourselves, our personality and what we have done. This is when self-love takes its best form.

In today’s world the concept of self-love has become more and more important. We always compare ourselves to Victoria Secret’s models and GQ covers. Our society has made us believe that we should be able to become these people. In a world where we should actually just be ourselves, we can’t be happy and love ourselves when we are constantly comparing ourselves with the people we will never be.

Self-hate doesn’t necessarily have to center around body image. I actually see it as a deeper personality concern. We shouldn’t necessarily blame ourselves or hate ourselves for every little thing. We may not always be proud of ourselves, but we need to accept that we are who we are and that we have done what we’ve done. Hating ourselves shouldn’t be our way to deal with frustrating situations.

This is a competitive university, and it is easy to start doubting oneself when we aren’t achieving at the level we want to. Faced with the success of everyone around us, it is often hard to be happy for those who are worth celebrating. This could be because the jealousy within us is ruling our natural balance of self-love and we can’t appreciate our own value or the value of those around us.

Even as I write this article, it is hard not to start criticizing myself and fall into the trap of self-hate. I’m thinking that this is terrible, that my writing-style sucks and that nobody will read it. All of these might be true but I should still be proud of myself for having the courage to write an article and I shouldn’t care if people love it or hate it.

This is the kind of self-love that will get us through life. Always hating and criticizing does not allow us to lead an enjoyable life and will prevent us from making it through the world with a smile on our faces.

I think what matters the most is to appreciate yourself. Love your flaws. Love your personality. Love your body. Maybe it isn’t all perfect but at the end of the day, you will always live within yourself and you can’t change that. Comparing yourself to others also won’t create the change you want to see. You will always be different to those around you. We have different talents, different levels of intelligence and different body types. Don’t dwell on what you can’t be and do what you can do best. Be yourself. And begin to love that person that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life.

If you aren’t already doing it: this Valentine’s Day, love yourself.