Ever since my first year, I have fallen into the same pattern. When the Spring semester rolls around, I begin acting like this summer is the be-all and end-all of my future career. If I do not get an internship this summer, I might as well kiss my future job prospects goodbye. Feelings of panic arise as I talk to my friends, who all slowly begin to have their summer plans figured out. Everyone seems to have a job at a big corporation or university abroad, or an internship that perfectly aligns with their future plans. Interviews become more stressful, and thoughts of ‘Am I saying and doing the right things?’ begin spiraling in my mind. Somehow, it seems like I am the only person who has not found a ‘productive’ way to fill their time in the summer.

This summer, however, I ended up with zero internships, jobs, or volunteering opportunities. This was not for lack of trying - everything just seemed to have fallen through or not aligned with what I wanted. I applied to several on-campus research internships with professors as well as certain lab positions. I even reached out to professors I knew, notwithstanding the tens of CVs and cover letters I had written and rewritten for off-campus jobs. I wanted an internship that aligned with my future career, ideally something in policy, politics, or psychology - or even better, a combination of those fields. Yet, nothing worked out. And so, I was left at home with no plans for the summer, reflecting on the purpose of this really long break and what it means to be ‘doing nothing’ for a seemingly grueling three month break.

The first realization I had was how a break meant exactly for rest, relaxation, and recharging from a long year of studying has been weaponized by corporations and capitalism to force us into working during these hot summer months. Students are given the illusion that we can technically take the months off. Yet, if no internship is in sight, feelings of inadequacy and failure start creeping in the closer we get to June. This tends to happen either due to our comparisons with the people around us - how everyone we know has somehow found an internship - or due to society’s expectation for students to have work experience during their undergraduate years, inevitably leading to them giving up their summer breaks. When most of the people I run into on campus are talking about how ‘great’ of an opportunity they found and how it will take them straight to an Ivy League post-grad or a six-figure job, it becomes difficult not to feel like I am missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. And let us not forget, like with everything else in this economic system, our worth becomes inherently linked to how much work we do and how little rest we take. So really, students are only given the illusion of choice to keep them working during all times of the year. The irony of working during a 'break' period should not be lost on anyone.

The second realization is that like many others on this campus, I get burned out during the semester. Studying is hard enough at NYU Abu Dhabi, let alone working, running a student interest group, doing a sport, or doing anything else on the side. Throughout the semester my routines become unsustainable, my sleep gets shorter, and my meals become more rushed. Summer break should be a time to recover from this chaos and help your body catch up on its sleep debt, rather than continuing the cycle. I also just want to spend some time at home, catching up on shows I haven’t had the time to watch and eating home-cooked meals. I should never have to feel bad about that.

As for my experience with nothing to do over the summer break, I can wholeheartedly say that I am really glad it turned out the way it did. I do not want to be a cog in the machine, working constantly and not allowing myself to take a break. Living life with family and friends, eating good food, laughing in my bed while watching a show, and picking up old hobbies all take precedence over a couple more months of work. That is why, this summer, my version of ‘doing nothing’ was spending as much time as I could with my best friend, catching up on TV shows, reading as much as humanly possible, and learning, but at my own pace and about whatever I enjoy. Little did April Dana know, I was going to create some of my fondest memories this summer - memories I would not want to trade for the world.