Last May, I was playing an intense game of mahjong at my friend’s place when I got the email announcing a Remote Plus fall 2020 semester at NYU Abu Dhabi.

As a potential Arab Crossroads major, I vehemently disliked the idea of online classes. I wanted to be in Abu Dhabi, to live and breathe the culture firsthand. So naturally, I arrived at the decision of taking a gap year.

Initially, I didn’t expect much from the gap year. I just thought it would give me time to relax, take things slow, maybe finally get to the books that had been collecting dust on my shelf. Yet, it turned out to be one of the most remarkable years in my life.

As someone who is 97 percent extroverted, you can imagine what a struggle it was for me to be separated from friends. In high school, during breaks, I would fill my schedule with back to back hangouts. However, as most of my friends either moved away for college or started online classes, I found myself being the only one in limbo — I was out of high school but not yet in college. I was in this awkward in-between phase with no one to rely on.

The first few weeks, I couldn’t help but compare myself to friends who were taking six courses in college or starting medical school. Why was I not like them? The spectre of toxic productivity crept up on me.

Gradually, I was able to shift focus. The decision to defer meant that I would have a very different year from my peers, but not one that would be any less exciting. Remote Plus came with a perk: I could be a part of the NYUAD community from home. And boy did I go all out — I started writing for The Gazelle and joined the editorial team, connected with the women’s football team and worked out with them over Zoom and joined the Abu Dhabi Christian Fellowship and found a supportive community of faith.

Image courtesy of Lyne Ismail.

Joining activities without the stress of academics allowed me to recognize my passions early on so I wouldn’t have to spend time worrying about what to join or be scared of missing out when I’m officially enrolled. Moreover, I formed close relationships with many people at NYUAD, which gave me a strong support network.

My gap year allowed me to do more than reconnect with my passions. I realised my deferral also presented a unique opportunity to reconcile with my hometown, Hong Kong. While I was born and raised here, I never truly felt like I belonged. I was ostracized and labeled as a foreigner from a young age. That feeling of alienation slowly gave way to resentment, until I just wanted to leave for college and never come back.

However, staying in Hong Kong for an extra year allowed me to rekindle my relationship with this city. Whether it be trying local food such as chau gong zai meen (fried instant noodles) and bo zai fan (claypot rice) with my soccer friends, jamming to Cantopop or trekking through the mountains with my mom, I began to realize that perhaps I did have something to come back to.

Image courtesy of Charlie Fong.

During the latter part of my gap year, my mom and I resolved to take weekly hikes in the countryside which strengthened our bond with shared moments of pain, triumph and deep conversations. Prior to this year, I had always felt disconnected from my mom as she often worked long hours. These weekly sweating sessions connected me with someone who was physically close but taken for granted, giving me a wealth of memories for when homesickness hits hard.

Additionally, in order to earn some money on the side, I started tutoring and pretty soon I was looking forward to seeing the kids’ smiles. Every time I rang the bell, they would rush out and lunge at me with hugs, stuffing crafts into my bag and beckoning me to a game of tag. Their family also welcomed me warmly and made sure I was well fed and cared for.

It didn’t seem to me that I was doing much by helping them with schoolwork and occasionally babysitting, but they kept on saying how much of a blessing I was. When I finally had to move away, they threw me a farewell party and showered me with love. I had given a piece of my heart to them and received much more than I gave.

Image courtesy of Charlie Fong.

Similarly, I started coaching football on Saturday’s to try something new and put my sporting knowledge to good use. Even though the kids were loud and uncontrollable at times, with week after week of telling them to lock their ankles, I achieved a proud mama moment when they finally made some progress.

The head coach and my boss always said that putting in some effort will make the kids remember these moments for a lifetime. Coaching isn’t just about technical skill, but making a difference in these young ones’ lives. I was bawling my eyes out during the last class. The drawings they gave me are definitely going on my dorm room wall and I already promised to return for next year’s summer course.

Image courtesy of Our Dream Soccer

When I initially filled out my deferral application, I mentioned self-studying Arabic, joining Bible school and helping with a refugee centered book project. At the end of my gap year, I accomplished none of the aforementioned plans. Yet, I had grown in far greater ways. I became more assertive in the communities that I am a part of, both at NYUAD and Hong Kong. I gained a renewed sense of appreciation for the people and things that were previously neglected. I learned to extend love to others and in turn be loved, using my life to influence others. This year became a journey incredibly profound and personal to me.