There is a particular feeling of relief that comes over me when I walk into my counselor’s office. The person sitting in the other chair has changed several times since I first started going as a sobbing mess of a freshman, but the sense of safety that the space provides has not.

I first ventured into counseling three years ago, not long after arriving at NYU Abu Dhabi. I was newly single and grieving hard, far away from family and with only new friends to support me. I say only new friends not in a derogatory way — they have since become some of the closest friends I have ever known — but we had only been in each other's presence for a few weeks. While they provided an incredible amount of support and love, I still needed something else to get me through the tragic time: a space where I could be the wreck that I needed to be, without the fear of new friends becoming sick of me and my raging emotions.

For me, that regular slot of counseling became a haven where I didn’t have to pretend everything was okay. In the rest of my life I have often felt the need to present an image of success and composure in which I tackle each challenge with a smile. Yet behind the scenes I was struggling to deal with panic attacks, anxiety, loneliness, self-harm and the semi-regular belief that I had no friends. I couldn’t admit my struggles to many people for fear of rejection or judgement. I looked for a place that I would feel safe and I found it in therapy.

Of course it is no cure. That time made up such a small amount of my week and I always had to go back and face the real world and my problems. But it was a start and it helped me find safety elsewhere. I’ve come to realise how valuable it is to find those intimate spaces where you can authentically be yourself, and it can manifest itself in so many ways — whether it is 3 a.m. conversations in your dorm room about how everyone else seems more successful or Skyping home and admitting when things are hard or writing down your real feelings in a diary. We all need shelter away from the performance of real life when real life is hard and we don’t feel able to admit it.

I’m a firm advocate for being able to honestly express one’s feelings and now I’m much more likely to publicly say when things aren’t going well. My work with REACH has given me the courage and confidence to own my struggles and share them constructively; in doing so, I no longer feel the same desperate need for a safe space. But there have been times during my life when owning my struggles just wasn’t a possibility — and I know many others feel the same.

That’s why I urge you to find your emotional shelter. Maybe it’s counseling — I definitely encourage you to try. Even if the first person you see doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that it’s not right for you. I’ve had counselors who just didn’t help at all and then I’ve had ones who kept me going when I thought nothing could. Counseling is an extremely individual experience and who you see can make a huge difference, but the person who is right for me might not be the best for you. Or maybe it’s something else. Friends, family, roommates, the Nook or your touch rugby team — there are so many places in which you can find support and community, which is what it all comes down to.

I still go to counseling. Sometimes you’ll find me there once a week, sometimes a whole month will go by before I drop back in. I probably don’t need to go quite as much as I once did, but even just knowing that a professional who knows my backstory is available helps keep me calm. I also have great friends who provide emotional support; sometimes, they can be better than a counselor. I can choose what I do based on what I need, and that’s what keeps me going even in the toughest of times.

So for those of you feeling anxious, depressed or alone, like I have so many times, I challenge you to find the intimate space in your life where you can be yourself and open up. Whether you find your emotional shelter in a physical space or in the people around you, you just need to take the first step towards discovering it.